


Forget me not

by maya28



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - World War II, Angst, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Concentration Camps, Dark, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Imprisonment, Jewish Bucky Barnes, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, SS Officer!Steve Rogers, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Trials, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-07 18:28:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7725124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maya28/pseuds/maya28
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>He looked at the walls covering the horizon and felt the remains of his world crumble around him. The weight of loss wrapped around his throat, and for a second he thought he would crumble as well. Crushed by the memory of everything he lost and the certainty that he will lose himself as well, forgotten beneath those walls.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>  <em>The blond officer turned and called his name.</em> </p><p>In September 1945, the war comes to an end. A month later, the Nuremberg trials begin. Captain Steve Rogers of the Schutzstaffel is brought to trail for crimes against humanity. The prosecution’s star witness is a Holocaust survivor, one James Buchanan Barnes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> When I read about the new so called developments in Captain America’s character, namely his new-found and extremely reasonable affection for Nazis, I was half screaming and half laughing. It’s such an affront to him that you cannot not be outraged, but at the same time it’s so outlandish that I found it hilarious. 
> 
> The next thing that happened is that my imagination ran away with it. What if. What if Captain America had an allegiance to fascism? How would that happen? Is it even possible? Reasonable? Understandable? Can you bend his character around this concept in such a way that he doesn’t break and become unrecognizable? Would such a story be no more than a desperate grab for attention and controversy, or a testament to the power of circumstance and destiny on each and every one of us?
> 
> This is an attempt at such a story.

_“Does the accused plead guilty or not guilty to the charges brought against him?”_

_“Guilty, Your Honour.”_

 

**5th of January 1946, Nuremberg, Germany**

 

“The prosecution may call it’s next witness to the stand.”

“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?” 

“I swear.” 

“Please state your full name for the record.” 

“James Buchanan Barnes” 

“I know this must be painful for you, Mr. Barnes. The Court deeply appreciates your courage in coming and speaking here today.” 

“Thank you.” 

“How old are you, Mr. Barnes?” 

“21” 

“Could you please relate to the Court the events of August 1941?” 

“Of course. I... we arrived... we were taken to Poland. We were taken in a transport to Auschwitz” 

“How old were you when this happened?” 

“16” 

“Tell the Court what happened, when the train you were riding in pulled into the camp?” 

“After the train stopped, there was a selection of the prisoners and we were separated, men from women, those who could work from those who couldn’t.” 

“Mr. Barnes, do you recognize the accused?” 

_(pause)_

"Mr. Barnes?"

“I do.” 

“Under what circumstances have you first met him?” 

“He was the officer in charge of the new prisoners when we arrived.” 

“Would you state his name for the Court?” 

“Steve Rogers. Captain Steve Rogers.”

 


	2. Her name was Rebecca

_ “Were you alone?” _

_ “No. I was brought there together with my sister. Becca. Her name was Rebecca.” _

 

She had been gripping his hand for the better part of the journey.

When the train took another turn, he felt the weight of the man behind him press against his back. He had to plant his feet more firmly and brace his other arm against the warmed wood so that the slight body between him and the wall wouldn’t be crushed.

“Bucky....” Her voice was beginning to fade, together with the light spilling through the cracks. I’m thirsty.”

“I know, love. It shouldn’t be long now. We’re almost there.” he said soothingly.

She was quiet for a second. He could see a drop of sweat sliding down her temple.

“I don’t think I wanna go anymore... We’re not even sure mum is gonna be there.”

Her words pierced through the hollowness in his chest.

Sometimes he wondered if Becca would actually recognize their mother’s face in a crowd. She had been only 5 years old when their mother brought them, together with a hurriedly packed bundle of clothes, to their neighbour’s house, an old German widow named Annika. She had hugged them both fiercely and kissed them on both cheeks, promising that she’d come back for them soon. She had searched their faces with a look of avid desperation for many lingering seconds, and then almost ran out the door. 

He had been too young and too bewildered to understand what was happening right then, but the last two years had taught him one thing: their mother was not coming back. Not soon, not ever.

* * *

Annika went above and beyond any promise she had made to their mother, keeping them fed and hidden away in the windowless attic. She would never let them go outside, but she would always bring them little gifts from the world they were no longer allowed in. Chocolates, a red scarf, dried leaves. She would bring small bouquets of blue flowers and tie them in Becca’s hair when she braided it. When it looked like they would fall, Becca would carefully put them away in her pocket so they wouldn’t be lost.

The old woman spoke of no children of her own. The young man in the military uniform smilling from the pictures had no name.

She spent most of the days teaching Becca to read and write. When she was getting frightened, Annika would tell them tales of monsters prowling in the night. No one was hurt, the women outside were screaming just because they had a fright, and the loud noises were made by the young heroes to scare the monsters away. It happened so often because there were so many monsters out there. And they always went away, they would never come here.

Becca wasn’t always calmed by the explanation, so she would wait until she thought Bucky was sleeping, and then she would silently sneak into his bed, curling into a tiny ball at the edge of the mattress. Bucky would sigh, exasperated by their nightly routine, roll over and tug her closer to him. She would fall asleep in minutes, soothed by his presence and the sound of his breathing.

One day the monsters finally came.

* * *

The doors opened with a loud metallic shriek. When the evening air touched his face he was so relieved his knees almost buckled.

He couldn’t see outside over the heads of so many people, but there came the sounds of voices shouting in German, of feet running and stamping.

Someone on the platform yelled at the top of his voice “Everybody out! Get a move on, you shits!” The men escorting them, crammed in the freight car with them, offered assistance by bringing the butts of their carbines down on the backs of people nearby with resounding blows.

Men and women all dashed like mad towards the only exit. One by one people jumped down from the high carriage and landed directly at the feet of scores of darkly clad men in uniform,  lined up in rows leading towards a high fence surrounding a large sprawling building.

Never letting go of his sister’s hand, Bucky followed. He was too numb to register the pain in his knee when he stumbled out of the train, Becca’s weight in his arms affecting his balance. Most of the people around him seemed to be in varying stages of shock, some of them simply blubering mindlessly, their eyes frantically searching for something. Bucky knew what that something was, and that now he could only find it in the grip of his sister’s hand. It was a pale shadow of it, but it was more that the other people had.

Like a flock of panicking sheep, they were led through an open gate. A man in a white coat was standing a bit further inside, in the middle of their path, flanked by two officers. He was short and fleshy, his small eyes  sharp and glowing with a gleeful sort of anticipation behind round glasses. He was such an unexpected and unsettling apparition, that Bucky kept staring at him, more disturbed than by the towering men surrounding them.

“Men on the right and women on the left, please.” the man called in a high voice, disconcertingly polite, stopping both the advancing crowd and Bucky’s heart.

The soldiers were already grabbing the people at the front and moving them forcibly in the right direction. Bucky swallowed and knelt down in the dirt, his eyes level with Becca’s.

“Listen to me, love. You have to go with the women for a bit. It’s not proper for me to be around while all the ladies get washed up and settled in their rooms. But I’ll see you soon, okay?” He was speaking rapidly, his tongue struggling to go through the words without a stutter.

Her eyes grew wide and fearful. “But I want to stay with you. We can sleep together, like we do at home.”

They had already sorted through more than half of the people in front of them. Bucky licked his lips.

“I’m sorry, Becca. There are different rules here. We have to follow them. It’s like we talked. It’s like a game and we have to follow their rules. You have to be good, okay, love? Promise me. Promise me you’ll follow the rules.”

Her bottom lip was beginning to tremble.

A hand clamped down on his shoulder and pushed him towards the right. Startled, he threw a quick glance at the officer who had grabbed him, blonde and more than a head taller than him, then succumbed to a moment of what he could recognize as insanity. He jerked out of his grip and turned back around, quickly falling before Becca again. Bucky gathered her slight body against his own. He hugged her harshly and whispered in her ear “Promise me you’ll follow the rules. I love you Becca.” His voice broke on the last words.

It all took less than five seconds, but he still scrambled up and hurried towards the growing line of men with the half formed certainty that he wouldn’t make the next step. But the officer didn’t stop him, and he didn’t dare look back.

* * *

The sun was almost completely below the horizon when everyone was finally in their place. Squeezed between trembling bodies, Bucky kept his head down and looked around with furtive glances.

The man in the white coat was walking down the line, giving each of them a perfunctory look. He sometimes made subtle hand gestures to the officer behind him before moving on. Bucky saw that a specific gesture meant that the officer would stop and motion the man out of the line and to the right, where another group was slowly forming.

A young man moved past him and to the right. And another. And another. A man with a trembling hand was left in the line, together with a tall redhead with a missing arm. So were the children.The pattern was hard to miss.

The doctor reached him.

And moved on.

Bucky’s head snapped up. The doctor had long lost interest in him, but his eye was caught by the officer who was still passing by. He distantly recognized him as the one who had dragged him away from his sister.

The man stopped and studied him for a few seconds. His eyes were a striking shade of blue in the dying light.

“This one can work” he said in an impassive voice. There was no trace of expression on his blank face.

The doctor turned around. He seemed mildly surprised.

“Herr Kapitan?”

“I said this one can work.”

Confusion passed over the doctor’s face, even though he was clearly struggling not to react in any way. He walked back and looked at Bucky again, this time in a much more interested manner. He had a flat and vaguely swinish stare that made chills run up Bucky’s spine. He stubbornly stared back.

The doctor smiled. 

A small and plump hand came up and cupped his jaw. The gesture was so sudden and proprietary that Bucky felt too shocked to react.

“Of course, Herr Kapitan. You have a very good eye.” His thumb swiped his cheek and briefly touched the corner of his lips. “He can work.”

He turned his smile to the officer, as if expecting him to join in. The other man looked at him and said dryly “Please carry on, Herr Docktor”.

The officer grasped Bucky’s shoulder and nudged him towards the other group.

After the doctor finished, each group was herded in a different direction. As they started moving, Bucky turned his head and tried to find Becca among the crowd of women on the other side of the square. There were two groups there as well. 

She was huddled among other children, her face streaked with tears. One of her hands was clutching at a small bundle of blue flowers. 

They turned a corner and she disappeared from view.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I've dared to post, so please forgive my inexperience. It hasn't been beta-ed either. I'm sure I've made and will make many mistakes, especially historical and procedural inaccuracies. I'm not an expert, but I'll try my best. I would really really appreciate any comments, criticisms and suggestions you may have. :)
> 
> I'm not sure where I'm going with this story yet, since I have multiple possible endings in mind. Tags with warnings will be added as I go, so please keep checking them if you decide to come back.
> 
> Lots of love,
> 
> Maya


End file.
